Just Let It Happen – Parshat Nitzavim

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Rav Kook – Orot ha Teshuvah (17:2)

When all of these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse which I have set before you, you will consider in your heart, among all the nations where the Lord your G-d has banished you, and you will return unto the Lord, your G-d (lit. ושבת עד ה׳ אלוקיך), with all your heart and with all your soul, and you will listen to His voice, according to all that I am commanding you this day… (Devarim 30:1-2)

For the Lord will once again rejoice over you for good, as He rejoiced over your forefathers, when you obey the Lord, your G-d, to observe His commandments and His statutes written in this Torah, and return to the Lord, your God (lit. ושבת אל ה׳ אלוקיך)… with all your heart and soul. (Devarim 30:9-10)

Often, a person who wishes to do teshuvah encounters impediments. These blockages make him brokenhearted. Although he knows that his life is full of brokenness which must be rectified, he is unable to do proper teshuvah in practice. Nevertheless, his strong will for teshuvah purifies him. It sanctifies and illuminates his life, and the obstacles he encounters should not discourage him. He must continue to pursue exaltedness and spiritual elevation, in accordance with the holiness of his soul and its holy character…

Our parshah expresses this point with the way it describes teshuvah. It uses two different terms – one verse speaks of returning “unto” (lit.עד) G-d, whereas the other speaks of returning “to (lit. אל)” Him. Returning “unto” something means that you’ve come close, but haven’t yet reached what you’re seeking. Returning “to” something means that you’ve made it fully back. The Torah is clear that “return unto G-d” is also called teshuvah.

This is the teshuvah of the Jew who is seeking G-d’s embrace, but finds many obstacles blocking his way. We can call this “inner teshuvah” (lit. תשובה פנימית). It manifests itself in a person’s will, the deepest and most essential part of a person’s being. Although its light is obscured by many blockages and partitions, that light still shines, and ultimately, no obstacle in the world can prevent it from appearing in all of its beauty and perfection.

Commentary by Rav Moshe Weinberger (Song of Teshuvah, Vol. 4): When a person experiences a desire to do teshuvah… [h]e may suffer the confusion of not understanding what teshuvah means, he may feel that he lacks the strength to change, or he may be unable to repair damage that he had caused others. Perhaps he cheated someone who is no longer alive, perhaps he stole from the community, or perhaps he humiliated others without even realizing it. He takes his responsibility to do teshuvah seriously. He knows that he has to rectify everything in the most perfect way that he can. Yet he feels that in certain areas he cannot do teshuvah — and as a result his heart breaks. He might then think that his impulse to do teshuvah means nothing, that it is worthless. But a person’s will to do teshuvah — like his holy thoughts in general — stands on a high plane of existence… Thus, this person’s desire to do teshuvah is in itself something great and holy, a force that purifies and sanctifies him like a mikveh.

Therefore, he must not allow any obstacles… in his path to take him away from his desire to do teshuvah. He should not despair of reaching the most exalted level. And therefore, when he experiences any higher feeling, any spiritual ascent, even if it is of the most minor sort, he should not look down on it but hold onto it.

Rav Kook – Orot haTeshuvah (14:19)

Frequently, a person with newfound resolve for spiritual growth finds that his yetzer ha’ra grows stronger, casts him down and tempts him with lowly desires. The natural reaction is to take this as a rejection of the attempt to become a better Jew. This is a mistake. No one should ever regret their will for teshuvah. When you experience failure in the course of your ascent, the proper response is to redouble your resolve and to rectify those failures with additional teshuvah.

You should know that all of this is addressed by the principle (Gemara Shabbat 137a) that “when a person has erred in the course of performing a mitzvah, he is exempt from bringing a sin offering” (lit. טועה בדבר מצוה פטור מחיוב חטאת). No one should be afraid of failures or errors that occur as part of the teshuvah process. Instead, you must fortify your yirat Hashem, holiness, and sense of inspiration at every stage of the journey– even when you make a wrong turn on the way to your destination.

Commentary by Rav Moshe Weinberger (Song of Teshuvah, Vol. 4): When a person grows in Yiddishkeit, he is initially liberated from desires that had been plaguing him. His path seems clear and he feels good about himself. But “because the greater a person, the greater his evil inclination” (Gemara Sukkah 52a), he soon finds himself challenged by a new level of opposition… He expected that devoting himself to a more meaningful Yiddishkeit would earn him the world-to-come. Yet now he finds himself committing sins, or plagued by lowly desires, and he begins to think that he was better off before.

Nevertheless, he should not regret his resolve to serve G-d. To the contrary, he should realize that the troubles he is experiencing indicate that he is succeeding in his service of G-d… When a Jew’s life is spiritually trivial, even if he is keeping mitzvos, he is destroying himself and so the evil inclination ignores him. But the second that he grows stronger, the second that he begins to do something special and important, he experiences impediments and gains enemies. When he tries to accomplish anything meaningful…. he faces tremendous opposition. That tells him that he is doing something right.

A person may suffer terrible failures. Nevertheless, he should do teshuvah and move on. Once a Jew came to the Rizhiner Rebbe and confessed that he had committed adultery. He explained that it “just happened.” The Rebbe said, “That is the same way in which you should do teshuvah. Just let it happen.” When a person commits a sin, he does not make calculations. So too he should do teshuvah without calculations, without asking questions such as how this could have happened to him. He should consider that there are people much greater than him who had experienced more profound failures and fell to deeper places. With that thought, he should stop berating himself and simply do teshuvah.

When a person is not engaged in mitzvos, when he is living just to please himself, he sins because his life is unruly and meaningless. But when a person is engaged in mitzvos, any sin that he commits is refined and, in an inner sense, not even a sin part of but the fabric of his life of mitzvos. As a person does teshuvah — by fighting his evil inclination and struggling to become better, as he learns Torah, davens, and performs mitzvos — his life flows forward and upward….

In a broad sense, our Sages refer to this sort of individual when they speak of someone who “has erred in the course of performing a mitzvah.” They teach that if, in the course of performing a mitzvah, a person committed a sin, he is exempt from having to offer a sin offering because his intention was to do the mitzvah.[1] [For example, someone who is accidentally mechalel Shabbat in the course of performing a brit milah on Shabbat.]

Such a person may say that he committed the sin on purpose, that he knew what he was doing, that it was not an accident. We nevertheless tell him that he is wrong — that he was “erring in the course of performing a mitzvah”[i.e. the mitzvah of teshuvah].

Students in many yeshivas are constantly told that a person who has sinned is worthless, perverted, and corrupt. But if a sweet student who is living a life of holiness — working day and night to become a better Jew… commits a sin, somebody needs to tell him that he is not bad, and his path of teshuvah is simple. He need only do teshuvah, try not to let it happen again, and return to his Gemara. “He is exempt from bringing a sin offering.”

A person should not allow his failures to frighten, diminish or discourage him.

Questions for Discussion

What are some common impediments to doing teshuvah? How does a person break through them?
Is “inner teshuvah” always sincere and valuable? What is the difference between “inner teshuvah” and the idea of being a ‘Jew at heart’ (i.e. without mitzvah observance), which Orthodox Judaism decisively rejects?
As mentioned above, our Sages teach that “the greater a person, the greater his evil inclination.” Is this counterintuitive? Why or why not? And why did G-d create us this way?
Rav Moshe Weinberger writes “When a person commits a sin, he does not make calculations. So too he should do teshuvah without calculations, without asking questions such as how this could have happened to him.” Do you agree? Why or why not?
How can person strengthen their will to do teshuva?

Savoring Success – Parshat Ki Tavo

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Rav Kook – Ein Ayah (Ma’aser Sheni 5:10)

When you have finished tithing your produce… you shall give them to the Levite, the stranger, the orphan, and the widow, so that they can eat to satiety in your cities. Then you shall say before the Lord, your G-d, “I have removed the holy portion from the house, and also given it to the Levite, the stranger, the orphan, and the widow, according to all Your commandment that You commanded me. I have not transgressed Your commandments, nor have I forgotten them… I obeyed the Lord, my G-d; I did according to all that You commanded me.” (Devarim 26:12-14)

In the fourth and seventh years of the shemita cycle, there is a mitzvah to declare our proper observance of the tithes given to the Kohanim, Levi’im and the poor. Puzzlingly, our Sages label this mitzvah as וידוי מעשרות – literally ‘vidui for tithes.’ This is counterintuitive, to say the least. Vidui means to confess, to acknowledge that we have failed and fallen short of G-d’s commands – but this is completely absent from vidui ma’aser! On the contrary, a person publicly declares that he has not forgotten anything and has not transgressed in any way. “I obeyed the Lord, my G-d; I did according to all that You commanded me.” How can our Sages possibly refer to this as vidui? What are they trying to teach us?

To answer this question, we have to address a fundamental tension of Torah life. Being an oved Hashem is an awesome responsibility. Serving G-d is not a hobby or a pastime that we dabble in on Shabbat and holidays. It is an all-encompassing vocation, one that demands maximal exertion in pursuit of holiness and in refining our deeds, our middot and our inner being. It is rare that a person fulfills his religious obligations properly and in their totality. For this reason, tzadikkim tend to be characterized by a deep sense of humility. After all, the closer you come to the Infinite, the more you comprehend how much is truly demanded of you. And although the tzaddik has internalized this awareness, every Jew is supposed to see themselves as imperfect, as having fallen short and a ‘work-in-progress.’

However, this attitude is dangerous if it isn’t properly balanced. A constant awareness of your failures and a nagging sense of being burdened by sin leads to depression and even self-hatred. It undermines your confidence and saps your desire to become a better Jew. After all, if it is so difficult to properly observe G-d’s demands, why try so hard? Or at all?[1]

But G-d wants us to derive joy from our relationship with Him. It is true that we are all imperfect and have fallen short – that “there is no righteous man on earth who does good and sins not” (Kohelet 7:20). But that’s only part of the picture. Every Jew has accomplishments in their resume, not just sins. Granted, it is rare that a person perfectly fulfills their religious obligations properly – but ‘rare’ does not mean ‘never.’

This takes us back to vidui ma’aser. We wondered why our Sages call this mitzvah ‘vidui,’ since there is no apparent mention of sin. The answer is that the premise of the question is wrong. Vidui is not so simple. Usually, vidui is an acknowledgement of sin, but there is another type of vidui as well. In this second type of vidui, a person acknowledges – even publicly declares – the good that they’ve done. Granted, vidui ma’aser relates to a very specific group of agricultural mitzvot that we no longer observe,[2]but it teaches us a lesson about mitzvot in general.[3] Torah is a burden, but one we’re supposed to be able to bear with joy. G-d wants us to derive simchah from our spiritual successes. He wants us to enjoy a sense of tranquility (lit. שלוה) and contentedness (lit. קורת רוח) when we’ve done something right. The G-d of Truth demands that we judge ourselves truthfully. That means acknowledging our failures but also what we’ve done right.

Ironically, being honest about our successes actually helps us identify where we really do need to improve. If we assume – mistakenly – that we’ve fallen short across the board, we may well throw ourselves into improving at something that we’re doing just fine at. Meanwhile, the area of our religious life that truly needs attention festers and remains neglected.

Equally important, however, is the fact that doing vidui for our successes gives us the confidence to build on them. Instead of seeing ourselves as sinful failures, we taste the joy of Torah life, and thirst for more of it.[4] Once we become aware of that joy, we are able to weigh the bitterness of sin against the sweetness of spiritual growth. That encourages us to take another step on the infinite path towards the Infinite.

[1]This is precisely the argument made by Jesus and Christianity regarding observance of the commandments.

[2]Things are actually a little more complicated. From the Star-K website: “The Rambam and Shulchan Aruch write that this mitzvah applies today, even in the absence of the Beis Hamikdash and not in the presence of the Kohanim. However, the Ra’avad and Vilna Gaon write that it does not apply nowadays. In addition, if one has not performed the mitzva completely one cannot say Vidui ; therefore, there are authorities who rule we should not say Vidui. Today, in Israel some do have the custom to recite the Vidui on the seventh day of Pesach. In the Diaspora, it is not the custom to recite the Vidui.”

[3]In a portion not translated above, Rav Kook notes that the obligations covered by vidui ma’aser encompass all of mitzvot– there are positive and negative commandments, obligations towards other individuals and responsibilities to the collective, bein adam l’makom and bein adam l’chaveiro.

[4]In a portion not translated above, Rav Kook writes that this too must be properly calibrated. A person shouldn’t dwell on their successes to the point that they become arrogant or no longer feel a need to grow spiritually. This is why vidui ma’aser is an infrequent obligation, i.e. only twice in a seven-year cycle. Rav Kook also writes that the process must be undertaken with as much modesty (lit. צניעות) and humility as possible. He suggests that this is why (i) vidui ma’aser is said late in the agricultural year, at Pesach; (ii) it’s said on the last day of Pesach (instead of the first); and (iii) even then, it isn’t said until the latest possible point of the day, i.e. in the afternoon at minchah time.

Food for Thought (Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, Likutei Moharan 282)

You must search for the good in yourself. When you start looking deep within yourself, you may think there is no good in you at all. You may feel you are full of evil: a negative voice inside you may try to drive you into depression. But you must not allow yourself to fall into depression. Search until you find some little good in you. For how could it be that you never did anything good in your whole life?

When you start to examine the good you have done, you may see many flaws. Maybe you did what you did for the wrong reasons and with the wrong attitude. Even so, how could it be that your mitzvah or good deed contains no good at all? It must contain some element of good. You must search and search until you find some good point within you to give you new life and happiness. When you discover the good that is still inside you, you literally swing the scales from guilt to merit. This will enable you to return to G-d. The good you find inside you will give you new life and bring joy to your soul. Having found one good point, you must continue searching until you find another. Even if you think this good point is also full of flaws, you must still search for some good in it. In the same way, you must continue finding more and more good points…

When a person recognizes the wrong he has done and how grossly materialistic and impure he is, he can become so depressed that he is completely incapable of praying. He simply cannot open his mouth to G-d. This is because of the deep sorrow and heaviness that overcome him when he sees his overwhelming distance from G-d. But finding your good points can give you new life. Even if you know you have done wrong and caused damage and that you are far from G-d, you must search until you find the good that is still inside you. This will give you new life and make you truly happy. You are certainly entitled to feel the greatest joy over every good point you find in yourself, because each good point comes from the holy soul within you. The new life and joy you will gain from this path will enable you to pray, sing and give thanks to G-d.

Questions for Discussion

What well-known verse in this week’s parshah emphasizes the importance of joy in avodat Hashem? (If you need a hint, look at Chapter 28.)
What aspect of Torah life have you done well at in the past year? How can you build on that in the coming year?
The following quote is from the Rambam. Do you think it’s making the same point as Rav Kook, or slightly different? “The joy which a person derives from doing good deeds and from loving G-d, who has commanded us to practice them, is a supreme form of Divine worship. Anyone who refrains from experiencing this joy deserves punishment… On the other hand, anyone who humbles himself on such occasions is indeed great and honored, for he serves the Lord out of love. David, King of Israel, expressed this thought when he said: “I will make myself even more contemptible than this, humbling myself in my own eyes” (Shmuel Beit, 6:22). True greatness and honor are attained only by rejoicing before the Lord, as it is written: “King David was leaping and dancing before the Lord” (Shmuel Beit, 6:16).
Which is more challenging – to be mindful of our spiritual successes or our spiritual failures? Why?
Are there dangers to focusing too much on one’s religious accomplishments? If so, what are they? And how does one avoid them?
In the Talmud (Kiddushin 40b), our Sages teach that “A person should view himself as though he were exactly half-liable and half-meritorious. In other words, he should act as though the plates of his ‘scale’ are balanced, so that if he performs one mitzva he is fortunate, as he tilts his balance to the side of merit. If he transgresses one prohibition, woe to him, as he tilts his balance to the side of liability.” How does this complement Rav Kook’s teachings on vidui ma’aser?
If the term ‘vidui’ encompasses both admitting sins and declaring one’s accomplishments, it seems like “confession” is not a good English translation. What would you suggest as an alternative?