Translation (Ein Ayah – Berachot):
It is preferable for a person to throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than embarrass his fellow in public. We learn this from Tamar [who did not directly accuse Yehuda of impregnating her while she was being taken to be executed, as this would have embarassed him. Rather, she sent him his garment and staff, in the hope that he would admit of his own accord.] (Gemara Berachot 43b)
Pursuit of illusory honor, based on external acquisitions such as wealth and fame, is one of the worst character traits. [1] There is, however, a nobler form of honor. The understanding of one’s true worth as a Divinely created being and the forceful rejection of anything that would deprive one of this noble stature – this awareness is the foundation of all moral and spiritual development. Without it, man cannot value the nobility of a life based on higher ideals and knowledge of the Divine, or comprehend the true honor incurred in pursuing them.
In this regard, one should live with the awareness that human life only has value when it is accompanied with recognition of one’s inner worth and dignity. Someone who lacks this recognition is alive in the biological sense, but is not truly living as a human being. [2]
For this reason, our Sages teach that it would be preferable to forfeit one’s life in this world rather than publicly shame another preson. They speak about public embarassment in particular, for while all embarassment is harmful, it is specifically public embarassment that causes irreparable and long lasting damage, to the extent that the worth of victim’s life is completely undermined.
We should note that our Sages do not state that a person is obligatedto sacrifice his life rather than embarrass his fellow in public, only that it would be preferableto do so. In other words, this is not a teaching that was meant to be implemented in practice, but rather an attitude towards the value of human dignity that one should strive to cultivate as part of leading an upstanding and ethically refined life.[3]
[1] Chazal (Avot 4:21) says that it “removes a person from the world.”
[2] Our tradition has many stories about pious people who joyously accepted shame and embarrassment. Rav Kook contends that they did so only to distance themselves from pursuing lower and illusory forms of honor, but not because they considered man’s dignity and sense of worth unimportant.
[3] Rav Kook briefly notes that certain halachic authorities actually do take this statement as halachically binding. See below.
Commentary/Sources for Further Research
Astonishingly, there are Rishonim who appear to take this statement in Gemara Berachot literally, as normative halachic practice. Further details are available here, in a brief shiur by R. Jonathan Ziring, and here, in a comprehensive set of sources and commentary from Olamot.net.
According to Rav Kook, public embarassment undermines the very root and value of one’s existence. This seems like an overly strong statement to make, but did you know that dozens of young people have committed suicide after being publicly shamed on social media? See hereand here.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
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How can we use social media in a way that is consistent with Torah values and acknowledges the grave danger of public embarassment?
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According to Rav Kook, this teaching of the Sages articulates an ethical principle, but isn’t meant to be followed in practice. Is it strange or paradoxical that the Torah articulates ethical principles that aren’t meant to be acted upon?
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Rav Kook focuses on the negative ramifications of being deprived of one’s honor by public embarassment. However, he also talks about the positive side of honor – i.e. how one’s awareness of their self-worth can motivate them to live a Divine and upright life. In a practical sense, how might this awareness express itself?
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Do you know anyone who excels at demonstrating a positive sense of honor and self-worth?
About This Piece
Ein Ayah is a commentary on the aggadic portions of the Talmud, specificallyBerachot,ShabbatandSeder Zeraim. Rav Kook began writing Ein Ayah when he was a young rav in Lithuania, and continued adding material until the end of his life. Ein Ayahseeks to extract profound and fundamental principles of Torahhashkafafrom the world of Aggadah. It is an excellent introduction to Rav Kook’s thought, inasmuch as the pieces tend to be more shorter and self contained and less esoteric than many of Rav Kook’s other worlds. While Ein Ayah has never been translated in its entirety into English, selected excerpts have been published by Betzalel Naor in Of Societies Perfect and Imperfect. An online course covering Ein Ayahon Masechet Shabbat is available from WebYeshiva.
